What It Was, Was Football
It was back last October, I believe it was.
We was going to hold a tent service off at this college town,
and we got there about dinner time on Saturday.
Different ones of us thought that we ought to get us a mouthful to eat before we set up the tent.
So we got off the truck and followed this little bunch of people
through this small little bitty patch of woods there,
and we came up on a big sign that says, "Get something to Eat Here."
I went up and got me two hot dogs and a big orange drink,
and before I could take a mouthful of that food,
this whole raft of people come up around me and got me to where I couldn't eat nothing, up like,
and I dropped my big orange drink.
Well, friends, they commenced to move, and there wasn't so much that I could do but move with them.
Well, we commenced to go through all kinds of doors and gates and I don't know what- all,
and I looked up over one of 'em and it says, "North Gate."
We kept on a-going through there, and pretty soon we come up on a young boy and he says,
"Ticket, please."
And I says, "Friend, I don't have a ticket;
I don't even know where it is that I'm a-going!"
Well, he says, "Come on out as quick as you can."
And I says, "I'll do 'er; I'll turn right around the first chance I get."
Well, we kept on a-moving through there,
and pretty soon everybody got where it was that they was a-going,
because they parted and I could see pretty good.
And what I seen was this whole raft of people a-sittin' on these two banks
and a-lookin at one another across this pretty little green cow pasture.
Somebody had took and drawed white lines all over it and drove posts in it,
and I don't know what all,
and I looked down there and I seen five or six convicts a running up and down
and a-blowing whistles .
And then I looked down there and I seen these pretty girls wearin' these little bitty short dresses
and a-dancing around, and so I thought I'd sit down and see what it was that was a-going to happen.
About the time I got set down good I looked down there
and I seen thirty or forty men come a-runnin' out of one end of a great big outhouse down there
and everybody where I was a-settin' got up and hollered!
And I asked this fella that was a sittin' beside of me,
"Friend, what is it that they're a-hollerin' for?
Well, he whopped me on the back and he says,
"Buddy, have a drink!" I says,
"Well, I believe I will have another big orange.
I got it and set back down.
When I got there again I seen that the men had got in two little bitty bunches down there
real close together, and they voted.
They elected one man apiece,
and them two men come out in the middle of that cow pasture
and shook hands like they hadn't seen one another in a long time.
Then a convict came over to where they was a-standin',
and he took out a quarter and they commenced to odd man right there!
After a while I seen what it was they was odd-manning for.
It was that both bunchesfull of them wanted this funny lookin little pumpkin to play with.
And I know, friends, that they couldn't eat it because they kicked it the whole evenin'
and it never busted.
Both bunchesful wanted that thing.
One bunch got it and it made the other bunch just as mad as they could be!
Friends, I seen that evenin' the awfulest fight that I ever have seen in all my life !!
They would run at one -another and kick one- another
and throw one another down and stomp on one another
and grind their feet in one another
and I don't know what-
all and just as fast as one of 'em would get hurt,
they'd take him off and run another one on !!
Well, they done that as long as I set there, but pretty soon this boy that had said
"Ticket, please." He come up to me and said,
"Friend, you're gonna have to leave because it is that you don't have a ticket."
And I says, "Well, all right." And I got up and left.
I don't know friends, to this day, what it was that they was a doin' down there,
but I have studied about it.
I think it was that it's some kindly of a contest where they see which bunchful of them men can take that pumpkin and run from one end of that cow pasture to the other without gettin' knocked down or steppin' in somethin'.
Lo que era, era fútbol
Era allá por octubre pasado, creo que sí.
Íbamos a hacer un servicio de carpa en este pueblo universitario,
y llegamos allí alrededor de la hora de la cena del sábado.
Algunos pensamos que debíamos comer algo antes de armar la carpa.
Así que bajamos del camión y seguimos a este grupo de personas
por un pequeño bosquecito,
y llegamos a un letrero grande que decía: 'Coma algo aquí'.
Fui y compré dos hot dogs y una gran bebida naranja,
y antes de poder probar esa comida,
un montón de gente se acercó a mí y no pude comer nada,
y dejé caer mi bebida naranja.
Amigos, empezaron a moverse y no pude hacer más que seguirlos.
Comenzamos a pasar por todo tipo de puertas y rejas y no sé qué más,
y miré por encima de una de ellas y decía: 'Puerta Norte'.
Seguimos por allí, y pronto nos encontramos con un joven que dijo:
'Boleto, por favor'.
Y yo dije: 'Amigo, no tengo boleto;
¡ni siquiera sé a dónde voy!'
Él dijo: 'Sal lo más rápido que puedas'.
Y yo dije: 'Lo haré; me daré la vuelta en cuanto pueda'.
Seguimos avanzando por allí,
y pronto todos llegaron a donde iban,
porque se separaron y pude ver bastante bien.
Y lo que vi fue un montón de gente sentada en dos bancos
mirándose a través de un bonito prado verde.
Alguien había dibujado líneas blancas por todas partes y había puesto postes,
y no sé qué más,
y miré hacia abajo y vi a cinco o seis convictos corriendo de un lado a otro
y soplando silbatos.
Y luego miré hacia abajo y vi a estas chicas bonitas con vestidos cortos
bailando alrededor, así que pensé en sentarme y ver qué iba a pasar.
Justo cuando me senté bien, miré hacia abajo
y vi treinta o cuarenta hombres corriendo desde un extremo de un gran baño público
¡y todos donde estaba sentado se levantaron y gritaron!
Y le pregunté a un tipo que estaba a mi lado,
'Amigo, ¿por qué están gritando?'
¡Me dio una palmada en la espalda y dijo:
'¡Amigo, toma una bebida!' Yo dije,
'Bueno, creo que tomaré otra gran naranja'.
La tomé y volví a sentarme.
Cuando volví a mirar, vi que los hombres se habían agrupado en dos grupos pequeños
muy juntos, y votaron.
Eligieron a un hombre cada uno,
y esos dos hombres salieron al medio de ese prado
y se estrecharon la mano como si no se hubieran visto en mucho tiempo.
Luego un convicto se acercó a donde estaban,
y sacó una moneda y empezaron a decidir ahí mismo.
Después de un rato vi por qué estaban decidiendo.
Era porque ambos grupos querían jugar con esa calabaza de aspecto extraño.
Y sé, amigos, que no podían comerla porque la patearon toda la tarde
¡y nunca se rompió!
Ambos grupos querían esa cosa.
Un grupo la consiguió y el otro se puso furioso.
¡Amigos, vi la pelea más terrible esa noche que haya visto en toda mi vida!
Corrían hacia el otro y se pateaban,
se tiraban al suelo y se pisoteaban unos a otros
y se golpeaban unos a otros
y no sé qué más,
y tan pronto como uno resultaba herido,
lo sacaban y ponían a otro en su lugar.
Bueno, hicieron eso mientras estuve allí, pero pronto ese chico que había dicho
'Boleto, por favor'. Se acercó a mí y dijo:
'Amigo, tendrás que irte porque no tienes boleto'.
Y yo dije: 'Bueno, está bien'. Y me levanté y me fui.
No sé amigos, hasta el día de hoy, qué estaban haciendo allí abajo,
pero lo he pensado.
Creo que era algún tipo de concurso donde veían qué grupo de hombres podía tomar esa calabaza y correr de un extremo del prado al otro sin caerse o pisar algo.'