After the death of his wife, Eddie Foy was faced with the problem of taking care of seven children
The only thing he could do was make an act out of them
There was only one problem: They had no talent
Eddie worked with them night and day, wasn't long enough
When they walked out on the stage in Pittsburgh for their first performance
People went down into the coal mines, whether they'd worked there or not
Listen to those childish voices
Young Johnnie Jones, he had a cute little boat
And all the girlies he would take for a float
This rendition sent ASCAP back a full fifteen years
Eddie had no other choice but to join the act
He couldn't make it worse
Young Johnnie Jones, he had a cute little boat
And all the girlies he would take for a float
He had girlies on the shore, sweet little peaches by the score
But Johnnie was a Wisenheimer, you know
His steady girl was Flo
And every Sunday afternoon she'd jump in his boat and they would spoon
And then he'd row, row, row
Way up the river he would row, row, row
A hug he'd give her
Then he'd kiss her now and then, she would tell him when
He'd fool around and fool around, and then they'd kiss again
And then he'd row, row, row, a little further
He would row, oh, oh, oh, oh
Then he'd drop both his oars, take a few more encores
And then he'd row, row, row
Oh, how he'd row, row
Way up the river he would row
A hug he'd give her
Then he'd kiss her now and then, she would tell him when
He'd fool around and fool around, and then they'd kiss again
And then he'd row, row, row, a little further
He would row, oh, oh, oh, oh
Then he'd drop both his oars, take a few more encores
And then he'd row, row, row