She's been in the here
For a while now
She's forgotten what hell would feel like
Something is different this week
Not better, not resolved
Just lower
Like the altitude changed without announcement
She's been watching her hands to see if they're still moving
The way she used to watch them to make sure they were
They are
And slower than before
Which might be a good sign
She's not certain
She told one person
Not that she was better
Just that something was different
And that person said: Good
And she said: I think so
She keeps expecting it to change back
The way these things change back
Suddenly, without warning
On a Tuesday
She's been waiting for the Tuesday
It hasn't come yet
It's Thursday now
It's my bigger problem that can't be solved
But something is holding
And I'm not falling
She goes outside
With less calculation than before
She notices the air is cold
And that this information is just information
Not a warning
She says something
And it tastes like the thing itself
Not like the absence of other things
This is good
But I know it now
Something is holding
And I'm not falling anymore
I'm not falling