Dopilsya
Ya raz poyekhal na shashlyk, shalavu nashu priglasili.
Vodyary yashchik por, kak byk, nu, nakonets, puzyr' raspili.
Snachala bylo vso nishtyak, vse srazu do trusov razdelis'.
Podruga, na, derzhi stakan, potom my pesni s ney raspelis'.
Nay-na-na-nay-na-nay-na-na-na, nay-na-na-nay-na-nay-na-na-na.
Nalil, postavil ya puzyr', khotel obnyat' svoyu podrugu,
V otvet menya obnyal upyr', razdalsya dikiy voy v okruge.
Odin vampir shashlyk skhvatil, stekayet krov' s klykov u gada.
I srazu ya puzyr' dopil. Pizdets prishol, lomit'sya nado
Raz poshla takaya p'yanka, rasstavlyay, blya, stakany.
Rasstavlyay, blya, stakany, p'yom my krov' u satany.
Bezhal dorogoy cherez les, navstrechu zombi prut pomalu.
Odin obkurennyy polez, kolom ya vrezal po yebalu.
Ochnulsya utrom v trezvyake, ment zachital mne protokol:
"Zaderzhan byl v odnom noske, v rukakh osinovyy byl kol".
Zaderzhan byl v chom mat' rodila, vidala b shchas, tebya, debila.
Khvatal prokhozhikh, skvernoslovil, na nashu vlast' khernyu burodil.
Nogami pizdil narkomanov, u nikh nashli gashish v karmanakh,
A to, chto, blyat', krichal "vampiry", et na mentovke u sortira.
Koroche s nami, brat, ne spor', poluchish' ty pyatnadtsat' zor'.
A tak vashche-to ty likhoy, da ne v poryadke s golovoy!
Yesli ne umeyesh' pit', mozhesh' dushu ty propit'.
Chtoby "belku" ne skhvatit', nauchis' bratishka pit'!
Yesli ne pokhmelish'sya, to tebe pridot kabzdets.
Raz poshla takaya p'yanka, rezh' posledniy ogurets!
Drunk Again
I once went out for some barbecue, invited my girl to join me.
We cracked open a box of booze, like a bull, finally popped the bubbly.
At first, everything was chill, we were all stripped down to our underwear.
Girl, here, hold this drink, then we’ll sing some songs, just us two.
Nay-na-na-nay-na-nay-na-na-na, nay-na-na-nay-na-nay-na-na-na.
I poured, set up the bubbly, wanted to hug my girl tight,
But instead, I got a vampire hug, a wild howl echoed in the night.
One vampire grabbed the shish kebab, blood dripping from its fangs,
And just like that, I finished the bubbly. Shit hit the fan, it’s a mess.
Once this drunk fest started, set up the damn glasses, man.
Set up the damn glasses, we’re drinking blood for Satan’s plan.
I ran down the road through the woods, slowly met a zombie on the way.
One stoned dude stumbled, I smashed him right in the face.
Woke up in the morning sober, cop read me my rights:
"You were caught in one sock, holding a stick made of aspen wood."
Caught in what your mama gave you, I’d give you a break, you idiot.
Grabbed passersby, cursed out loud, ranting about our messed-up state.
Kicked the junkies with my feet, found some hash in their pockets,
And that shit, damn, screaming 'vampires', that’s what the cops heard by the toilet.
In short, don’t mess with us, bro, you’ll get fifteen years for sure.
But honestly, you’re a bit off, not right in the head!
If you can’t handle your drink, you might just lose your soul.
To avoid catching the 'white lady', learn to drink, bro!
If you don’t sober up, you’ll be in deep shit.
Once this drunk fest started, slice the last cucumber!