Glory To Church Buildings
Brothers and sisters, god needs a new house.
The building we're in now can only hold 2000,
And though its rarely full, it's just not as cool,
As the church down the street, it has a swimming pool.
Yes, christians in china are being executed,
And hospitals in uganda are underfunded,
Yes, we could send missionaries to the middle east,
But we need money for a new church building.
Yes, we know there are millions of starving,
And it's too bad our young people are backsliding,
There are billions who haven't heard the gospel,
And our country's morals became cookie crumble,
Our pastor, mr. sam, drives a new shiny benz,
But he doesn't look at the homeless people's tents,
And our kids fornicate and they're playing violent games,
But we need money for a new church building.
Glory to the buildings,
Glory to the choir,
Glory to our programs,
Glory to the offerings.
Today's sermon is how to be a good christian,
If you can make it, come to church on friday too.
Give out at least one tract a week,
And grandmothers, volunteer for local charities,
If you have some extra time to waste.
Read a chapter a day to keep the devil away,
After those things, there ain't much else to say,
But give a lot of money for our new church building!
Half the congregation is grossly overweight,
It's okay to have three times a normal person's plate,
The mother down the street cannot feed her four children.
"god help that woman, but i'm off to the gym."
The church down the street has a homosexual priest,
And we're also going to start allowing gay weddings.
And yes, brother joe has problems with wife beating,
But he gives money for our new church building.
Glory to the buildings,
Glory to the choir,
Glory to our programs,
Glory to the offerings.
Yes, we are good christians and we live our lives for christ,
If you ask what that entails, on sunday dress up nice.
You don't have to really make any sacrifice,
Just go to confession every month, once or twice.
Some people say our church is dead spiritually,
Or that we've been deceived, ha! they must be crazy.
We've heard people say our religion is decaying,
But we gave money to our new church building!
Gloria a los Edificios de la Iglesia
Hermanos y hermanas, dios necesita una nueva casa.
El edificio en el que estamos ahora solo puede albergar a 2000,
Y aunque rara vez está lleno, simplemente no es tan genial,
Como la iglesia de la calle de al lado, que tiene una piscina.
Sí, los cristianos en China están siendo ejecutados,
Y los hospitales en Uganda tienen falta de fondos,
Sí, podríamos enviar misioneros al Medio Oriente,
Pero necesitamos dinero para un nuevo edificio de iglesia.
Sí, sabemos que hay millones de personas muriendo de hambre,
Y es una lástima que nuestros jóvenes se estén desviando,
Hay miles de millones que no han escuchado el evangelio,
Y la moral de nuestro país se ha desmoronado,
Nuestro pastor, el señor Sam, conduce un nuevo y reluciente Benz,
Pero no mira las tiendas de campaña de las personas sin hogar,
Y nuestros hijos fornican y juegan juegos violentos,
Pero necesitamos dinero para un nuevo edificio de iglesia.
Gloria a los edificios,
Gloria al coro,
Gloria a nuestros programas,
Gloria a las ofrendas.
El sermón de hoy es cómo ser un buen cristiano,
Si puedes, ven a la iglesia también los viernes.
Entrega al menos un folleto a la semana,
Y abuelas, ofrézcanse como voluntarias en organizaciones locales,
Si tienen tiempo extra para perder.
Lean un capítulo al día para mantener al diablo alejado,
Después de esas cosas, no hay mucho más que decir,
Pero ¡den mucho dinero para nuestro nuevo edificio de iglesia!
La mitad de la congregación tiene sobrepeso en gran medida,
Está bien tener tres veces la porción de una persona normal,
La madre de la calle no puede alimentar a sus cuatro hijos.