Cacka Boom
If you're cold, well here's a plan
Pull the plug out of your fan
If you're hot, now here's a scheme
Park your botty in the stream
If you're tired, check this plot
Seek a source that hits the spot
If you're snooty, here's a ploy
Stroll along the hoi polloi
(Cacka Boom)
You'll not have owt to show for it
If you don't go for it (Cacka Boom)
You'll have to come to terms with it,
Get on the firm with it (Cacka Boom)
If you don't get to grips with it,
You've had your chips with it (Cacka Boom)
You'll only come to rue it if you don't do it
If you're lost, well try this notion
Find yourself a magic potion (Cacka Boom)
If you're angry, check this wheeze
Count to ten and then say "cheese" (Cacka Boom)
If you're uptight here's the answer
Learn to be a belly dancer (Cacka Boom)
If you're cornered, suss a wangle
Try it from a different angle
(Cacka Boom)
Now you can put a name to it
You must lay claim to it (Cacka Boom)
You'll have time to regret it
If you don't go and get it (Cacka Boom)
You won't have much to talk about
If you don't go on walkabout (Cacka Boom)
Don't think you won't mind it
If you don't try and find it
No one said you must be good as gold
It's what you haven't done
That matters when you're old
No one said these things are pre-ordained
Nothing ventured...
If you're guilty, cop a stroke
You only did it for a joke
If you're dozy, here's a tactic
Tell 'em all they're too didactic
If you're fed up, here's a wrinkle
Let your pianoforte tinkle
If you're wobbling here's a trick
Happy go toilet, click, click, click
Now you can put a name to it
You must lay claim to it (Cacka Boom)
You'll have time to regret it
If you don't go and get it (Cacka Boom)
You won't have much to talk about
If you don't go on walkabout (Cacka Boom)
Don't think you won't mind it
If you don't try and find it (Cacka Boom)
(Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom)
(Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom)
(Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom)
(Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom)
(Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom)
(Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom)
(Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom)
(Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom)
(Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom)
(Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom)
(Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom), (Cacka Boom)
Ow!
Pluma cacka
Si tienes frío, aquí tienes un plan
Saca el enchufe del ventilador
Si estás caliente, ahora aquí hay un esquema
Estacione su botty en el arroyo
Si estás cansado, echa un vistazo a esta parcela
Busca una fuente que llegue al punto
Si eres snooty, aquí tienes una estratagema
Pasee por el hoi polloi
(Cacka Boom)
No tendrás nada que mostrar
Si no te gusta (Cacka Boom)
Tendrás que aceptarlo
Ponte en la firma con ella (Cacka Boom)
Si no te das cuenta de ello
Has tenido tus fichas con él (Cacka Boom)
Sólo vendrás a lamentarlo si no lo haces
Si estás perdido, prueba esta noción
Búscate una poción mágica (Cacka Boom)
Si estás enojado, comprueba este sibilo
Cuente hasta diez y luego di «queso» (Cacka Boom)
Si estás tenso aquí está la respuesta
Aprende a ser bailarina del vientre (Cacka Boom)
Si estás acorralado, haz una maraña
Pruébalo desde un ángulo diferente
(Cacka Boom)
Ahora puedes ponerle un nombre
Debes reclamarlo (Cacka Boom)
Tendrás tiempo para arrepentirte
Si no vas a buscarlo (Cacka Boom)
No tendrás mucho de qué hablar
Si no vas a caminar (Cacka Boom)
No creas que no te importará
Si no intentas encontrarlo
Nadie dijo que debes ser bueno como el oro
Es lo que no has hecho
Eso importa cuando seas viejo
Nadie dijo que estas cosas están preordenadas
Nada se aventuró
Si eres culpable, policía un derrame cerebral
Sólo lo hiciste por una broma
Si estás dormilón, aquí tienes una táctica
Diles que son demasiado didácticos
Si estás harto, aquí hay una arruga
Deja que tu pianoforte tintinee
Si estás tambaleando aquí hay un truco
Happy go inodoro, haga clic, haga clic, haga clic
Ahora puedes ponerle un nombre
Debes reclamarlo (Cacka Boom)
Tendrás tiempo para arrepentirte
Si no vas a buscarlo (Cacka Boom)
No tendrás mucho de qué hablar
Si no vas a caminar (Cacka Boom)
No creas que no te importará
Si no intentas encontrarlo (Cacka Boom)
(Pluma cacka), (Pluma cacka), (Pluma cacka)
(Pluma cacka), (Pluma cacka), (Pluma cacka)
(Pluma cacka), (Pluma cacka), (Pluma cacka)
(Pluma cacka), (Pluma cacka), (Pluma cacka)
(Pluma cacka), (Pluma cacka), (Pluma cacka)
(Pluma cacka), (Pluma cacka), (Pluma cacka)
(Pluma cacka), (Pluma cacka), (Pluma cacka)
(Pluma cacka), (Pluma cacka), (Pluma cacka)
(Pluma cacka), (Pluma cacka), (Pluma cacka)
(Pluma cacka), (Pluma cacka), (Pluma cacka)
(Pluma cacka), (Pluma cacka), (Pluma cacka)
¡Ay!
Escrita por: Ian Dury, Rhys Jones, Merlin Rhys-Jones