Hitchhiker Joe
Don't pick up hitchhiker joe
He'll slit your throat
And cut off your big toe, I tell you
He'll make you smile
From ear to ear
Gonna lock you in a trunk
For ninety-nine years
Don't do it now
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
I had a cousin who came from vermont
Next thing I know, that cousin was gone
Truck driver saw him picking up hitchhiker joe
Now his spleen's on the sidewalk helping flowers grow
Don't pick up hitchhiker joe
He'll slit your throat
And cut off your big toe, I tell you
He'll make you smile
From ear to ear
Gonna lock you in a trunk
For ninety-nine years
Don't do it now
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
My best friend eddie called from l.a.
Said we'd have dinner later that day
I've got a feeling, and it's more than a hunch
My poor friend eddie was that hitchhiker's lunch
Don't pick up hitchhiker joe
He'll slit your throat
And cut off your big toe, I tell you
He'll make you smile
From ear to ear
Gonna lock you in a trunk
For ninety-nine years
Don't do it now
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Hitchhiker joe ain't no vegetarian
If you see him on the highway
Steer clear of him
He got a knife in his sock
And a razor up his sleeve
And a chainsaw in his pack
And he's gonna make you bleed, yeah, yeah
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
My girfriend lois called from talahassee
She picked up that dude at the spam factory
That was the last time that I saw her smile
My best advice is don't eat spam for a while
Don't pick up hitchhiker joe
He'll slit your throat
And cut off your big toe, I tell you
He'll make you smile
From ear to ear
Gonna lock you in a trunk
For ninety-nine years
Don't do it now
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Don't pick up (bom, bom, bom, bom, bom)
Hitchhiker joe (bom, bom, bom, bom)
He'll slit your throat (bom, bom, bom, bom)
And cut off your big toe
He'll make you smile (bom, bom, bom, bom, bom)
From ear to ear (bom, bom, bom, bom)
Gonna lock you in a trunk (bom, bom, bom, bom)
For ninety-nine years
Don't do it now
Don't pick up hitchhiker joe (bom, bom, bom, bom, bom)
He'll slit your throat (bom, bom, bom, bom)
And cut off your big toe (bom, bom, bom, bom)
He'll make you smile (bom, bom, bom, bom, bom)
From ear to ear (bom, bom, bom, bom)
Gonna lock you in a trunk (bom, bom, bom, bom)
For ninety-na-na-na-na-na-na-na now (bom, bom, bom, bom, bom)
Do-ooh-ooh-n't (bom, bom, bom, bom)
Pick up (bom, bom, bom, bom)
Hitchhiker (bom, bom, bom, bom, bom)
He got to cut off your big, your big, your big (bom, bom, bom, bom)
He'll make you smile (bom, bom, bom, bom)
From ear to ear (bom, bom, bom, bom, bom)
Gonna lock you
El Autoestopista Joe
No recojas al autoestopista Joe
Te cortará la garganta
Y te cortará el dedo gordo, te lo digo
Te hará sonreír
De oreja a oreja
Te encerrará en un maletero
Por noventa y nueve años
No lo hagas ahora
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Tuve un primo que vino de Vermont
Lo siguiente que supe, ese primo desapareció
Un camionero lo vio recogiendo al autoestopista Joe
Ahora su bazo está en la acera ayudando a crecer flores
No recojas al autoestopista Joe
Te cortará la garganta
Y te cortará el dedo gordo, te lo digo
Te hará sonreír
De oreja a oreja
Te encerrará en un maletero
Por noventa y nueve años
No lo hagas ahora
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Mi mejor amigo Eddie llamó desde Los Ángeles
Dijo que cenaríamos más tarde ese día
Tengo un presentimiento, y es más que una corazonada
Mi pobre amigo Eddie fue el almuerzo de ese autoestopista
No recojas al autoestopista Joe
Te cortará la garganta
Y te cortará el dedo gordo, te lo digo
Te hará sonreír
De oreja a oreja
Te encerrará en un maletero
Por noventa y nueve años
No lo hagas ahora
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
El autoestopista Joe no es vegetariano
Si lo ves en la carretera
Aléjate de él
Tiene un cuchillo en su calcetín
Y una navaja en la manga
Y una motosierra en su mochila
Y te hará sangrar, sí, sí
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Mi novia Lois llamó desde Tallahassee
Recogió a ese tipo en la fábrica de spam
Esa fue la última vez que la vi sonreír
Mi mejor consejo es no comer spam por un tiempo
No recojas al autoestopista Joe
Te cortará la garganta
Y te cortará el dedo gordo, te lo digo
Te hará sonreír
De oreja a oreja
Te encerrará en un maletero
Por noventa y nueve años
No lo hagas ahora
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
No recojas (bom, bom, bom, bom, bom)
Al autoestopista Joe (bom, bom, bom, bom)
Te cortará la garganta (bom, bom, bom, bom)
Y te cortará el dedo gordo
Te hará sonreír (bom, bom, bom, bom, bom)
De oreja a oreja (bom, bom, bom, bom)
Te encerrará en un maletero (bom, bom, bom, bom)
Por noventa y nueve años
No lo hagas ahora
No recojas al autoestopista Joe (bom, bom, bom, bom, bom)
Te cortará la garganta (bom, bom, bom, bom)
Y te cortará el dedo gordo (bom, bom, bom, bom)
Te hará sonreír (bom, bom, bom, bom, bom)
De oreja a oreja (bom, bom, bom, bom)
Te encerrará en un maletero (bom, bom, bom, bom)
Por noventa-na-na-na-na-na-na-na ahora (bom, bom, bom, bom, bom)
No-ooh-ooh (bom, bom, bom, bom)
Recojas (bom, bom, bom, bom)
Al autoestopista (bom, bom, bom, bom, bom)
Tiene que cortarte el dedo gordo, tu dedo gordo, tu dedo gordo (bom, bom, bom, bom)
Te hará sonreír (bom, bom, bom, bom)
De oreja a oreja (bom, bom, bom, bom, bom)
Te encerrará
Escrita por: Steve Foth / Steve Poltz