『メンヘラ』はじめました (menhera hajimemashita)
にちじょうはそれなりです
nichijou wa sorenari desu
いつもどおりまっくらです
itsumo doori makkura desu
べつにりかいもとめてません
betsu ni rikai motomete masen
どうじょうなんてしなくていい
doujou nante shinakute ii
てきとうにあわすだけ
tekitou ni awasu dake
うわべだけでかいわして
uwabe dake de kaiwa shite
じっさいだれもしんじてない
jissai daremo shinjitenai
しんじてもどうせうらぎられ
shinjite mo douse uragirare
ばかをみるから
baka o miru kara
きずついたうでをみて
kizutsuita ude o mite
あたまいかれたやつだって
atama ikareta yatsu datte
さげすんだめなれてるけど
sagesunda me nareteru kedo
そんなにわるいことでしょうか
sonna ni warui koto deshou ka?
そうねふつうじゃないよね
sou ne futsuu ja nai yo ne
やさしさってなんだっけ
yasashisa tte nan dakke?
けっきょくきみもいっしょだよね
kekkyoku kimi mo issho da yo ne
ぜんぶうわべだけ
zenbu uwabe dake
せいしんびょうなんです
seishinbyou nan desu
せいしんめんにすこしばかり
seishinmen ni sukoshi bakari
しっかんかかえてございます
shikkan kakaete gozaimasu
われものなんですとりあつかいごちゅういください
waremono nan desu toriatsukai gochuui kudasai
じゃっかんひびわれございます
jakkan hibiware gozaimasu
うまくいきられないわたしに
umaku ikirarenai watashi ni
だれかもっとやさしくして
dareka motto yasashiku shite!
このこえはなにもとどかない
kono koe wa nani mo todokanai
きみにもきこえていないのかな
kimi ni mo kikoete inai no ka na
きこえててもまたしらんかおね
kikoetetemo mata shiran kao ne
ただなにかにすがることさえも
tada nanika ni sugaru koto sae mo
だれかにたよることさえもわたし
dareka ni tayoru koto sae mo watashi
できないからじぶんをまたきりつける
dekinai kara jibun o mata kiri tsukeru
しっかん
shikkan
(せいしんびょうなんです
(seishinbyou nan desu
せいしんめんにすこしばかり
seishinmen ni sukoshi bakari
しっかんかかえてございます
shikkan kakaete gozaimasu
われものなんですとりあつかいごちゅういください
waremono nan desu toriatsukai gochuui kudasai
じゃっかんひびわれございます)
jakkan hibiware gozaimasu)
ないたってなにもかわらない
naitatte nani mo kawaranai
なのにまたなきそうになる
nanoni mata naki sou ni naru
このこえはなにもとどかない
kono koe wa nani mo todokanai
だれにもきこえていないのかな
dare ni mo kikoete inai no ka na
きこえててもまたしらんかおね
kikoetetemo mata shiran kao ne
ただなにかにすがることさえも
tada nanika ni sugaru koto sae mo
だれかにたよることさえもわたし
dareka ni tayoru koto sae mo watashi
できないからじぶんをまたきりつける
dekinai kara jibun o mata kiri tsukeru
きっとこのせかいにいばしょはない
kitto kono sekai ni ibasho wa nai
べつにきみをうらんでなんてないよ
betsu ni kimi o urande nante nai yo
かわいそうだとかいわないで
kawaisou da toka iwanai de
いつもさびしいのはわたしだけ
itsumo sabishii no wa watashi dake
べつにそれはそれでいいんだけど
betsu ni sore wa sore de ii nda kedo
ひつようのないわたしがまたきずつくから
hitsuyou no nai watashi ga mata kizutsuku kara
しっかん
shikkan
I Started To Be MenHera
Every day is like this
Completely dark, as usual
I'm not looking for understanding
There's no need to have pity
I just blend in properly
Only engage in shallow conversations
And in truth, no one believes
Even if they do, I'll be betrayed
That's when I realize my foolishness
Looking at my wounded arm
People say I look like a madman
I'm used to disdainful looks, but
Is it that bad?
Well, I'm not normal, am I?
What is kindness?
In the end, you're the same, right?
Everything is merely superficial
I'm mentally unstable
I have some mental health issues
I have mental disorders
I'm fragile, please handle with care
Because I have some cracks
I can't live properly
Someone be kinder to me!
This voice doesn't reach anywhere
Do you not hear it too?
Even if you do, you pretend not to, right?
I can't simply ask for help
Or rely on someone and because I can't
I end up cutting myself again
It's a disorder
I'm mentally unstable
I have some mental health issues
I have mental disorders
I'm fragile, please handle with care
Because I have some cracks
Crying won't change anything
Nevertheless, I feel like I'm going to cry again
This voice doesn't reach anywhere
Does anyone even hear it?
Even if they do, they pretend not to, right?
I can't simply ask for help
Or rely on someone and because I can't
I end up cutting myself again
Surely, I don't have a place in this world
I'm not blaming you or anything like that
So don't say it's regrettable
It's always me who feels lonely
And it's okay that way, but
By thinking that you don't need me, I end up hurting myself again
It's a disorder