I Don't Want To Be Sad

I'm always so lonely
Frustrated and angry
And I never know if it's my fault
Or if its just my brain working fucking wrong

'Cause I have a problem that I can not withhold
'Cause I have diseases that I can not control

And my feelings are at the mercy
Of my chemical imbalances
And I'm trapped inside the torture
Of living with bipolar disorder

And I'd always hate myself more than I hate anyone else
I'll always hate myself before I hate anyone else
'Cause I know that I've earned it
From years and years of treating myself like shit

And I want to believe that it's not my fault
And I want to believe that I can live a fulfilling life

But I might not
I might not