Viva La Vida Sucia

I used to masturbate
Keep up my neighbors really, really late
With dreams of threesomes with Mary-kate
And Ashley olsen and me, oh it was great

I used to be the king of internet porn
At which site tonight, I'm really torn should
I go for some clean shaven clits
Or really big tits, and lots of pierced nips

One million times about to come
Next I was walked in by my mom
The look of horror that was on her face
Oh, embarrass me, shame, what a disgrace

Being caught when you're off
To videos of David asselhall
It's really bad when it's by your mom
You're sitting there naked with Tyler ball

Just when you thought that it couldn't get worse
I saw my mom drop her purse
She slipped and hit her head
Because of me, my mom is dead

The funeral was really hard on me
Imagine giving that eulogy
I killed my mom because I was whacking off
Explain that to your dad, oh he was mad

I'm reaching my breaking point
Which made me really wanna smoke a joint
So I snuck out and lit a giant blunt
And I got really baked, but what a mistake

Lighting it up in the bathroom stall
While everyone was inside the funeral
Seemed incredibly smart at the time
But that's because I was baked out of my mind

Just when I heard a strange noise next door
I saw that I dropped my joint on the floor
Set fire to the place
No more funeral home, just empty space

Thank how what you win must be
There's 17 german men book a key
It's really bad when it's by your mom
She leaves all her money to stepdad Tom

28 single alone in book
Could anyone spare me a bump of coke?
If you enjoyed my song?
Buy me a drink, we'll get along