Paralytic States

She could hear them fucking through
Those thin hotel walls
She heard babies crying
She heard laughter, she heard sirens
Red and blue lights flashing
Through those cheap hotel drapes
Blood spilled out on the porcelain
The bath tub's over-flowing

Paralytic states of dependency
All waking life's just a living dream
Agitated states of amazement
Never quite the woman that she wanted to be

Spread out faced down on those
Stained cheap hotel sheets
She spent the last years of her life
Running from the boy she used to be
Cut her face wide open
Shaved the bone down thin
Plumped her lips up exaggerated
A fucked up kind of feminine

Paralytic states of dependency
All waking life's just a living dream
Agitated states of amazement
Never quite the woman that she wanted to be

Night time at the hotel there was fighting in the hall
Thin chain lock to keep the world out
She held her breath till it was gone
Standing naked in front of that hotel bathroom mirror
In her dysphoria's reflection
She still saw her mother's son

Paralytic states of dependency
All waking life's just a living dream
Agitated states of amazement
Never quite the woman that she wanted to be

By the time the ball dropped it was already over
No resolutions for the new year beginning tomorrow