Swashbuckled

Gather round and listen
As I tell you now this tale
The grim legacy of the pirates three
And how their lives ceased to be
I'll tell you know of Redrum
The ginger commodore
He got a case of scurvy rot
And then that bastard was no more

This is the tale of Captain Crashride
By his crew, condemned and damned
And as if this wasn't bad enough
They replace him with a baldy man
Now his ghost haunts the sea
Eternally he's doomed to wander
Mayhaps you'll hear his deathly cries
C'mon son, buy a Honda!

To the end of time we will sail the seas
With cutlasses in hand
We'll terrorize the land
Though the hands of fate may strike us down
We'll fight til we fall
Swashbucklers til we die

This is the tale of Admiral Nobeard
The fattest pirate in the west
He's never seen his ball before
And he needs a bra to hold his breasts
Feared by friends and foe alike
No sword nor gun could wound his flesh
But one day he met his fate
Twas on a pretzel he choked to death