The First One

I hate my voice
my skin and my mind
it's like there's always a fight
between the things I think and I feel
when I know that sometimes
the words that come out of my mouth
they just aren't right
I want to start new again

the wool is over my eyes
i'm in denial, i'm in denial
and I feel fine
for the first time in such a long time
it feels good to be alive
I think i'm ready to try

from good to bad
to worse to dead
you can cut my throat
or break my hands
right now is all that I have left
it's all that I have