The Only Way I Could Save Myself Now Is If I Start Firebombing

This debilitating cynicism leaves me throwing fists
Blindly, unkindly, I deliberately hide so that you can find me
Unmentionable, the seeking of attention that we require
And I impede my own libido with a silent fear of fire
Hold me higher than your loved ones
Mask my bad intentions
I wish I was as pure as my lustlessness suggested

Go fall, I'll hold you back
Surround myself with your artifacts
My mind wanders with a sense of urgency
I watch you fade away from me

I discreetly try to imbibe the origins of your resentment
Above me, you reside as I strive for mere acceptance
Escaping dignity, I ruined the pedestals I built
And bruised by your excuses, I characteristically wilt
Condemned by a guilt that I can't abandon, I lessen to the floor
I've derobed you more times with my eyes than you have with your paws

Go fall, I'll hold you back
Surround myself with your artifacts
My mind wanders with a sense of urgency
I watch you fade away from me