Liposuction

If all your fancy diet plans have got your head a'swimmin'
And everything you eat must be approved by Richard Simmons
Stop eatin' that birdseed, friend
'cause what you really need is
A procedure guaranteed not to impede your need to feed

Liposuction
Liposuction
The new, immediate weight reduction plan
Trade in the hand you've been dealt
And get surgically svelte
At your friendly neighborhood liposuction man

If you've abandoned exercise and your gut keeps gettin' vaster
Your thighs are growin' oversize, and your butt's gone off to pasture
If you want a new demeanor
And you're keen on gettin' leaner
Then your remedy is an M.D.
With a fancy vacuum cleaner

Liposuction
Liposuction
The new, immediate weight reduction plan
Take the fat cells from your hips
Put 'em in Barbare Hershey's lips
At your friendly neighborhood liposuction man

If your waistline is a'surgin'
And in need of some reversion
And your overall weight dispersion's
Gettin' on the verge o' perversion
I'm encouragin' an excursion
To go searchin' for a surgeon
And get your emergency purgin'
Of the burgreoning fat emergin' from your chin

Liposuction
Liposuction
The new, immediate weight reduction plan
Get your torso reformatted
Get a nose job while you're at it
At your friendly neighborhood liposuction man

Make your ass twelve inches thinner
And be home in time for dinner
At your friendly neighborhood liposuction man

Well, the doctor's bill may vex ya'
But it sure beats anorexia
At your friendly neighborhood liposuction man