Meaningless Cycle

What is this life? Seriously, what is this life?
I can't help but repeat this phrase in my head
As absurd as it is, as longing is my pain
What is so difficult for you to understand?

I have lived in such a mess
Thoughts in disorder to make it all complicated
I have tried to calm down, I have tried believe me
Now I know it's in vain if ever I try again

If you ask me, yes I know what's going on
I know what's going to happen
What's gonna happen is I'm just gonna live the same way
Living the same fucking torture over and over again