Self Portrait

Now I'm still
Can't bare this for long
Somehow it seems I am forcing this life
To be like a God
Feeling so sick taking everything, got no thing to give

You speak to me
Words of a bitter truth
What I've failed to see
Unable to move for you
I fight the one inside
The other one, but I lose the last round

So, desperate, I agitate
It's a never-ending deviation
Hollow pending...
I will never know why I still stand

"And time will come
When I'll see the sun
And all the love I missed
Yet deserved
Won't be too far
Till then I'll carry the burden of being me, every day"

I'm out tonight, I'm fully loaded
I chase a dream, which I cannot reach
Disconnecting mind
Let a body rule
I wish not to wish, I wish not to see
How I stuttered
When I should speak,
Broken down where I should stand
How I've dropped you down
Everything
How peacefully I've waited, waited, for the end

Sometimes I feel like I'm the enemy
Your faith is such a hard thing to gain
Is that what you see in me?
So many things I know, that you can never see
See I'm not naive I'll get what I need

All alone, it's just me and these walls
They can all hear my whispers
They keep all, all the beauty
The secrets that were meant for you
What we have made
Time will never change
What we've been, no one will ever be
What I've wished, I've failed to see
Say it again, wanna hear it, from you, the end...

What we have made, you will never...
You will never forget

Sometimes I feel like I'm the enemy
"So what?!? So what?!" she says...
So many things I know, that you could never see
See I'm not naïve, can't you see?

Sometimes I FEEL AS IF I AM the enemy,
Your faith is such a hard thing to gain,
That's all you saw in me,
So many things I was, that you could never see
See I'm not naive; I've got what I need