Reality Check Failure

I resolved it,
I resolved everything I had,
With myself, with my mind,
I got tired, I got tired of waiting,
For this "thing" to become a life,
"Sometimes I cut myself bleeding,
To make sure that I'm still alive",
Now I'm losing touch,
With everything that's real,
I close my eyes waiting to wake up...

...it all could be so much better.

So what am I,
I'm pain,
I'm love,
I'm sore,
I'm bliss,
I was waiting for you to see,
I loved,
I begged,
But it just weren't enough,
Well I'm sorry... 2x

So, what now,
When everything is over,
Before it has begun!

So, what now,
When everything is over,
Before it has begun,
I can't deny more than I already have,
I turned away when I should take my stand,
Now all I have is this demon called the past...

To remind me,
And to drive the sleep out of my nights!!!

...we all could be so much better.

So what am I,
I'm pain,
I'm love,
I'm sore,
I'm bliss,
I was waiting for you to see,
I loved,
I begged,
But that just wasn't enough,
Well I'm sorry... 2x + 2var.