Heinous Anus

10 am, and I hit the alarm

It's been 5 short hours since I tied one on

And on the way to the kitchen for my morning cup

I gotta run to the can before my bowels erupt
Grab my knees and howl like a dawg
I've got a 12 inch long jalapeño log
You can keep that Thai, yeah I think I'll pass
I ain't got a week to nurse my ass!!!
I just want a normal stool!
Hey, hey, hey, heinous anus!
I've been on the throne all day
I can't face the world in any other way
Help me out,

I wanna be someone who

Doesn't start the morning with a molten poo!!!
I don't want this screaming hoop!!!

Hey, hey, hey, heinous anus!