Funk You

I don't know much about ART but I can tell you this
Duchamps's Urinal is a piece of piss
Van Gogh cut off his ear to spite his face (So What)
Me, I've got a message for the whole human race
I want to be a phallic symbol like the Tower of Pisa
And wipe the smile off smile off the face of that bitch, the Mona Lisa
I'll date Botticelli's Venus, just to tease her
But unless you're hung like a Jackson Pollock
You couldn't please her!
Funk you and funk your mother
Funk your sister, funk your auntie
And funk your little brother
When you've learnt how to funk one another
Don't leave that groovy thing on the shelf
Go home to the one you love and
Funk yourself
As Gallileo said, "And yet it moves"
While Oppenheimer splits the atom
And Newton finds the groove
But me, I agree with Einstein
Who put it so much simpler
I want it to end as it began
With one BIG BANG, not a whimper!
Funk you, funk quantum physics
When you've proved their theory's wrong
You can go and funk the cynics
Take a proton pill as you butt-funk the critics
You're E=MC squared (That's your life)
Well funk your buddy and
Funk your wife
Sexual psychology fasinates me more than art or science
I've attempted intercourse with every household appliance
A girl came to my clinic, I guess you'd call her a client
She wouldn'y shake my hand which I found so defiant
I said, "My Psychoanalyst is gonna love you
'Cause you look just like my sister"
She said "But I've got no arms
And armless girls cannot play twister"
She tried to take my pants off with her teeth
But her stiff upper lip got caught in the metal zip
Funk you and funk your mother
Funk your sister, funk your auntie
And funk your little brother
When you've learnt how to funk one another
Don't leave that groovy thing on the shelf
Go home to the one you love and
Home to the one you love and
Home to the one you love and
Funk yourself