I'm Really Sad Pepe And It Seems Like I'm a Character From Twin Peaks

Recently, I was building my next plan for an ideal life
Although I knew I had no chance, but still could not realize
That I am doomed from the very beginning
And now I'm just trying to get my bonus winnings

I really can't swallow pills anymore
So for now, beer is my cure
For the anxiety that exists as my shadow
I want you to kill me with an arrow

Hard-boiled wonderland
Righteous and without solace
Hard-boiled wonderland
Righteous and without solace

Hard-boiled wonderland
Righteous and without solace
Hard-boiled wonderland
Righteous and without solace

I forget my own songs 'cause I don't want to remember them
My idiotic nature does not imply diadem
On my head but I still keep behaving like egghead
I wish I were a silent plant

Hard-boiled wonderland
Righteous and without solace
Hard-boiled wonderland
Righteous and without solace
Every time I look at myself I want to be someone else
Every time I want to run away, again another endless day

I'm in the red room, there are many of my selves
So which one is the most heartfelt?
Hard-boiled wonderland
Righteous and without solace
Hard-boiled wonderland
Righteous and without solace