Vacation

I don’t know how to be
What I wanted to be when I was 5
Sometimes blue eyes sometimes green

Bike rides
Snow hikes and christmas lights
Sometimes freezing sometimes warm
I don’t know if I can love that anymore

'Cuz I got it all
I got it all mistaken
For a meaningful life and a fun family vacation
Like when I used to ride roller coasters with my dad
When a swimming pool in a hotel was a gift from God

Like love or like a family
I don’t know how to be
Maybe I just wanna get married
Maybe I just wanna fall asleep

But at least I know that the world is spinning
When we’re tangled in the bedsheets
And at least I know that my mom is breathing
When we talk on the phone
And at least I know that my house
Won’t burn down down to the ground
Or maybe it will

If I’ve been in love before, and I’m pretty sure I have
I’m pretty sure that my house can burn down down
To the ground tomorrow if I’ve been in love before
And I know that I have
Then I know that my house can burn
Down down down down to the ground tomorrow