Paradox

When i was barely three i was told what to think.
Now i know everything worth not remembering.
So when i turned seven years i had irrational fears.
One hundred forty four thousand tears fell in those seven years.
When i was ten and four i begged your god for more.
He gave me apple cores from trees not seen before.
So when i turned ten and five i wandered from the hive.
Then half of my soul arrived.
You made me feel alive.
So pay attention because i'm wasting away.
And i have dug those memories out so many times,
But you keep digging yourself back inside my mind.
Inside my mind. inside my mind.