Seni İçimde İntihar Ettim

I Committed Suicide with You Inside Me

We passed through the fire lines in a crazy way
My love grew inside me with fear
The more I loved, the more I feared
I knew these feelings would eventually suffocate each other
Eventually, people realize
All the stones that trip them up
Are laid by themselves on their path

Your belief in tomorrow was greater than mine
You were braver
The hopes you planted in unplanned tomorrows
Would eventually bloom, you knew
In the safe purity where my crazy, passionate childlike spirit
Turned its back on worthless values
For which many have caused catastrophes
You found an eternity for yourself
And painted the pictures of our lives on our walls
Then suddenly
In a green city
On a warm summer night, you hung me

The minute of my passionate life was worthless
I paid for it
My sentences grew tired of carrying you
I succumbed to your heart, knowing the master of the last word
And the last moment
I breathed in the past and breathed out to the past

Memories gnawed at my heart
My feelings became paralyzed
From the waist of the hourglass where time had long sunk
Not even a single second was trickling down
I didn't dare to turn it around
Because I had become a coward
Of a life that would start over

After love, there is sorrow
Either you drown the sorrow
Or sorrow drowns you
But if someone breaks their wings
Instead of playing the wounded bird role
You should try to walk
You should return to life

Just thinking about these was a transformation for me
And it was executing the end inside me
If you had survived that night from my heart
I would have been the one dead
That night
In a pristine moment of life
I committed suicide with you
Now I am the killer

Now you are a void in my diary
Slowly being buried under fresh memories
And I am learning that everything I thought belonged to you
Actually belongs to me
You are not the sole inspiration for any emotion
As I discover myself
I lose you
And I bravely leave behind the loneliness in my horizon