This Is What Self-destruction Feels Like

This isn't easy
I don't know how and what to feel
Keeping busy
It does the job but it doesn't heal
My mind is a fire
And I'm burning love away
It's getting harder to feel
And they all say

You need to take care of yourself, my darling
But they don't know how it feels to be broken
I can't help it, I feel numb
I'll wait for the waves to leave and come
I think I'm breaking
I'm a mess in the making, hmm
A mess in the making, hmm
I'm getting tired
Of the same old feeling in my chest
I'm not a liar

But I've got secrets I can't confess
Don't say you love me
'Cause I don't understand those words
It's getting harder to feel
And they all say
You need to take care of your health, my darling
But they don't know how it feels to be broken
I can't help it, I feel numb
I'll wait for the waves to leave and come
I think I'm breaking

I'm a mess in the making, hmm
A mess in the making, hmm
I'm holding on a tightrope
And know I'm not coming home
Hurting, searching
You know I'm not coming home
This isn't easy
I don't know how and what to feel
Keeping busy
It does the job but it doesn't heal