to cry

My body is killing itself
No matter what I try to try
Keeps telling me to surrender
Maybe I should let it die

My insides are fighting now at least
The violence that hurts me is mine
The doctor gives me marching orders
But the mission is a suicide

You might try to understand it
But even your empathy feels dry

I'm so tired of hurting
I can't cry, cry
I can't cry
It's hard to cry

Legs always feeling so heavy
All my bones catching on fire
Going from twenty to eighty
Almost like I'm not alive

My head tells me to keep moving
But I can't follow the signs
Putting a smile in the mirror
While watching all my hair die
I can feel my eyes aching
But the tears won't come down when I try

I'm so tired of hurting
I can't cry, cry
I can't cry
It's hard to cry, cry
It's hard to cry
I can't cry
It's hard to cry