It's like i'm not even here

I had it under control
Everything I loved, everything that I owned
And every time I think about it, I miss my home
And every day I'm waiting for you to hit my phone

And I wish you would know
I'm so in love with you
You're so in love with him
I don't know what to do

Girl, I'm a fool now
It's getting hard to breathe
Drugs all in my body
I can't do nothing right

Girl, I'm a loser
And you knew I was here
Making all these songs that somebody will hear

'Cause I'm not good at anything, I always fall short
Almost wish that I was gifted in some way or some sort
I'm so fucking depressed, I feel like I'm a waste
And my mental fucked up, all I really wanted was space

And don't talk to me 'cause I don't ever know what to say
A cigarette for me, a lighter for my mistakes