Loss

And what if I told you that there will never be an end?
I'm cold snow and the world is conflagration
I didn't want it to be this way
These are not the plans they had for me
But sometimes I can't hide
Sometimes I find myself in this dark room
And I just wish I could see a way out

If I'm with you it's inevitable that I drag you in
And I'm afraid you'd see behind the pleasant face
I'm afraid you'd discern the hell within
The eternal and overwhelming feeling of loss
The glass walls represent no protection
And I take the force of the blow
There's fear and there are thoughts of ending it all

I felt warmth on your touch
It seems that your eyes have the means to dissect my heart
And meaningless is life now
Strange how dark falls suddenly in a bright sunny morning
And I can no longer envision what's around me
What's alive in me

Like a mourning song it takes to dance this motionless dance
Where all I can do is to stare at the fragile
Crumbling "brick" walls in the mirror
What am I when the sun rises?
What am I to do?
Where is the inspiration once so vivid in the veins?

Is this an infirmity or am I just now waking up?
My eyes are like your
But my truth differs
Anguish is a commanding thing when it strikes
It is the dark I see
It is the dark seed in me
Flourishing into all that wounds my essence

In the haziness further on
I can somehow discern the face of an angel
The face that now bleeds the cold heart of mine
Loss…
Fear…
And my shaking hands won't find rest
Breathing is so hard when you're swimming
In an ocean of tears