All Er Nothin'

You'll have to be a little more standoffish
When fellers offer you a buggy ride.

I'll give a imitation of a crawfish
And dig myself a hole where I can hide.

I heared how you was kickin' up some capers
When I was off in Kansas City, Mo.
I heard some things you couldn't print in papers
From fellers who been talkin' like they know!

Foot!
I only did the kind of things I orta, sorta,
To you I was as faithful as c'n be fer me.
Them stories 'bout the way I lost my bloomers - Rumors!
A lot of tempest in a pot o' tea!

The whole thing don't sound very good to me.

Well, y' see.

I go and sow my last wild oat!
I cut out all shenanigans.
I save my money, don't gamble or drink
In the back room down at Flannigans!
I give up lotsa other things
A gentleman never mentions,
But before I give up anymore,
I wanta know your intentions!

With me it's all er nuthin'.
Is it all er nuthin' with you?
It cain't be "in between"
It cain't be "now and then"
No half and half romance will do!

I'm a one woman man, Home lovin' type,
All complete with slippers and pipe.
Take me like I am, er leave me be!
If you cain't give me all, give me nuthin'
And nuthin's whut you'll git from me!

Not even sump'n?
Nuthin's whut you'll git from me!
It cain't be "in between"
Hmm Hmm!
It cain't be "now and then"
No half and half romance will do!

Would you build me a house
All painted white
Cute and clean and purty and bright

Big enough fer two but not fer three!
S'posin' that we should have a third one?

He better look a lot like me!
Yer spited image!
He better look a lot like me!

With you it's all er nuthin'.
All fer you and nuthin' fer me!
But if a wife is wise, she's gotta realize
That men like you are wild and free.
So I ain't gonna fuss, ain't gonna frown,
Have your fun, go out on the town,
Stay up late and don't come home till three.
And go right off to sleep if you're sleepy,
There's no use waitin' up fer me!

Oh, Ado Annie!
No use waitin' up fer me!
Come back and kiss me!