I do My Crosswords In Pen

Ink bleeds deeper
When pressed hard,
Soaks through paper and
Leaves stains on the table.
You don't look how i pictured.
You don't look quite
How i remember.
I'll tell myself
"i cannot surround me."
But some smiles both ressurect,
And drain the life from me.
I don't tell you everything.
It's heartless,
The pictures remind me
I'm calloused to smiles.