Anything Goes

Times have changed
And we've often rewound the clock
Since the Puritans got a shock
When they landed on Plymouth Rock

If today
Any shock they should try to stem
'Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock
Plymouth Rock would land on them

In olden days a glimpse of stocking
Was looked on as something shocking
But now, God knows
Anything Goes

Good authors too
Who once knew better words
Now only use four letter words
Writing prose
Anything Goes

The world has gone mad today
And good's bad today
And black's white today
And day's night today
When most guys today
That women prize today
Are just silly gigolos

And though I'm not a great romancer
I know that I'm bound to answer
When you propose
Anything goes

When grandmama whose age is eighty
In night clubs is getting matey
With gigolos
Anything Goes

When mothers pack
And leave poor father
Because they decide they'd rather
Be tennis pros
Anything Goes

If driving fast cars you like
If low bars you like
If old hymns you like
If bare limbs you like
If Mae West you like
Or me undressed you like
Why, nobody will oppose!

When every night
The set that's smart
Is intruding in nudist parties
In studios
Anything Goes

The world has gone mad today
And good's bad today
And black's white today
And day's night today
When most guys today
That women prize today
Are just silly gigolos

And though I'm not a great romancer
I know that I'm bound to answer
When you propose
Anything goes

If saying your prayers you like
If green pears you like
If old chairs you like
If back stairs you like
If love affairs you like
With young bears you like
Why nobody will oppose!

And though I'm not a great romancer
I know that I'm bound to answer
When you propose
Anything goes
Anything goes!