Fairytale

Cinderella's on her bedroom floor
She's got a crush on the guy at the liquor store
'Cause Mr. Charming don't come home anymore
And she forgets why she came here

Sleeping Beauty's in a foul mood, for shame
She says: None for you, dear prince, I'm tired today
I'd rather sleep my whole life away
Than have you keep me from dreaming

'Cause I don't care for your fairytales
You're so worried 'bout the maiden, though you know
She's only waiting on the next best thing
Next best thing

Snow White is doing dishes again, 'cause
What else could you do with seven itty-bitty men?
Sends them to bed and she calls up a friend
Says: Would you meet me at midnight?

The Tall Blonde let out a cry of despair, says
Would have cut it myself if I knew men could climb hair
I'll have to find another tower somewhere
And keep away from the windows

'Cause I don't care for your fairytales
You're so worried 'bout the maiden, though you know
She's only waiting on the next best thing
Next best thing

Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom
Man made up a story, said that I should believe him
Go and tell your white knight that he's handsome in hindsight
But I don't want the next best thing
So I sing, I hold my head down
And I break these walls 'round me
Can't take no more of your fairytale love

I don't care for your fairytales
You're so worried 'bout the maiden, though you know
She's only waiting on the next best thing
I don't care
I don't care

Worried 'bout the maiden, though you know
She's only waiting
Spent her whole life being graded on the sanctity of patience
And a dumb appreciation
But the story needs some mending and a better happy ending
'Cause I don't want the next best thing
No, no, I don't want the next best thing