Sweet Contradiction

I've been writing letters
About where my head is
Don't know if it's healthy or if it helps me, but whatever
I've been meditating
While I'm medicated
'Cause I know too well, hope is easy to sell when the feeling is faded

I've been avoiding direction, but wanna see where I'm going
I'm still cravin' adventure while I've been stayin' at home
I'm a sweet contradiction of somemone shrinking while growing
I'm not ready and I haven't left yet

Oh, I've been avoiding direction, but wanna see where I'm going
I'm still cravin' adventure while I've been stayin' at home
I'm a sweet contradiction of somemone shrinking while growing
I'm not ready and I haven't left yet

Oh, but I'm on my way
But I'm on my way
I haven't left yet

I've been checking my vitals
'Cause my heart's been quiet
I put two fingers two to my neck just to check I'm alive still
And it feels endless
And I'm only at the start
Man, I don't get this
Like running full speed in the dark

I've been avoiding direction, but wanna see where I'm going (see where I'm going)
I'm still cravin' adventure while I've been stayin' at home (I've been stayin' at home)
I'm a sweet contradiction of somemone shrinking while growing
I'm not ready and I haven't left yet
Oh, I've been praying to someone, though I know barely know him
I've got great expectations, meanwhile, the bar is in hell
I'm a sweet contradiction of someone sinking while floating
I'm not ready and I haven't left yet

Oh, but I'm on my way (I'm on my way)
But I'm on my way (on my way)
I haven't left yet
Oh, but I'm on my way (I'm on my way)
But I'm on my way (on my way)
I haven't left yet, oh

Ooh, I'm on my way

I'm afraid of rejection, but I still wanna be chosen
Though I know I gotta love me on my own
I'm a sweet contradiction, but at least I know it
I'm not ready and I haven't left yet
But I'm on my way