B Or Not A B

B or not a B?
That is the question.
Whether 'tis the second letter of the alphabet, or some other merry letter.
(He raises the letter B and gazes upon it)
B or not a B?
This letter doth have a stiff, straight back.
And the word "back" begineth with B!
B or not a B?
This letter doth have two bumps in the front.
And I reckon the word "bump" begineth with B!
Zoons, the word "begineth" begineth with B!
If "begineth" be a word.
Now, by my sword, I declare, B or not a B, 'tis B!
Good night, sweet B.
(He kisses the lucky letter B!)