I Love To Be Chill

This past year's burned a hole in my head
I can't keep my eyes open
At second thought I couldn't care to listen
To any word anyone else said
I've been a lost cause since I can remember

Drowning
It feels like I'm drowning
Why can't I just be dead

For now, I guess I could remain at rest; turn my senses off for months on end
I'll never step a foot or an inch outside of my bedroom ever again
I can't believe I'm even alive, let alone well enough to lift my legs
I'll dim my lights shut the door to my life and crawl into the safety of my bed
The light is so bright slipping through the cracks
Between the black out curtains and my shades
I never strive to change my life
I can't even convince myself to behave
In situations of extreme importance
Can I even spell my name?

Drowning, why can't I be drowning?