i am my own hell

I am my own hell
And I have made my home
In a place where no one ever goes
I'll always be alone

I'm learning all kinds of tricks
How to drain the blood out of my face
And spend all summer in bed
So everyone will think I'm dead

When I come back to you
It'll be on my hands and knees
I'd be lying if I said
I didn't dream sometimes
About what it would be like

If I didn't have this life
My legs start to shake
When it's my time to leave?