How Lucky Am I?

Well I know I might be wrong
And the vows I haven't made may be wasted
Copy and pasted from false memories

And I very well could be expecting
Too much from a lover
I needlessly suffer for soft yesterdays

And lovely laying on a porch in the rain
When faced with adverse circumstances it's the same

Still you love me, you say so
Enough to recognize that you're lucky, you think so
But how lucky am I?

If I turn it on it's head will the blood rush to it and make me dizzy
Or will it give me the truth that I crave?

When I post my 95 it comes out of me
Like rags on a scholar, a dog on a collar
For I make no sense
Afraid that hurtful words could fill my last breath
A million memories could not sew my chest

Still I hurt you, you say so
Enough to make you cry
Still you don't know
I don't show the reason for my lies