Only one Bum in Corona del Mar - A Cowboy Musical

Narrator: Once upon a time in a little Kingdom by the Pacific Ocean,
the villagers could always be heard singing merrily
as they slathered on suntan lotion:

Villagers:
Corona Del Mar, Crown of the Sea
We nobles agree just how lucky we are
Plenty of plenty for you and for me
and there's only one bum in Corona del Mar

Nary a sin on our lily white skin
just a tan and this one tiny scar
Prince, Princess, and Queens, Kings gods and Czars
and only one bum in Corona del Mar

Narrator: The deli gives him free sandwiches
(he stops there 'bout three times a week)
then he'll shimmy behind dolphin-shaped hedges
where he likes to take a leak
Sometimes we'll hand him coffee, money or religious tracts
or at a distance speak a kind word
and he'll grin, then behind our backs
he'll discreetly flip us the bird

Villagers Chorus:
Nary a stain on our regal robe's train
'cept him and that thing in his jar
Down at the park, our land-loving shark
There's only one bum in Corona del Mar

Narrator:
Down at one local park bench
under a blanket called "Home"
the rain falling hard now
but I assure you he's never alone
He's always got an invisible buddy there
They speak to each other in tongues
Once I think I heard them muttering
calling all of us "stinking C.D.M. bums!"

Villagers Chorus:
Nary a flaw in our high castle wall
just one crack that's lowered the bar
(one fly in our caviar)
Is that Stacy Keech passed out on the beach?
No, it's only our bum from Corona del Mar

Narrator: The cops don't like to arrest him
When they have, he would purposely mess his drawers
And as the winds of change carry the scent of tolerance
That's an odor we just can't ignore
Now our kids give him little gifts at Christmas
Like wrapped lottery tickets in hopes
That eventually he'll hit the jackpot and buy...

Kids:
"Houses, and Escalades, and boats!"

Villagers:
Corona Del Mar, Crown of the Sea
We nobles agree just how lucky we are
Plenty of plenty for you and for me
and there's only one bum in Corona del Mar
We're using Ben Franklins to light our cigars
'cos we might not like it
but at least he's ours
Only one bum...

Narrator:
Now all this happened years ago
Sadly today our hero's not around
Some say he's been seen in Fresno
others say they heard he drowned
Still others swear he got baptized,
spreading the Word both near and far
and some of us think he may be
the richest man who ever
lived in Corona Del Mar

Villagers:
Carona Del Mar, Crown of the Sea
we nobles agree just how lucky we are
Plenty o'plenty for you and for me
and we sure miss that bum in Carona del Mar
Sure miss that bum in Corona del Mar
Sure miss that bum in Corona....

Narrator: And we all lived happily ever after!

...del Mar
La la la la, la la la la....