Should Have Let Me Leave

i've got a body that i don't want to be living in
i've got devils flooding up to the neck
and i have forgotten how to swim
all of these people keep calling me up who i don't even know
i don't even know myself

it all started when i was a kid
i kept putting trust in my father and receiving nothing
relationships lasted no longer than limbs
still the same, nothing changed
this just keeps on happening

should have let me leave
should have let me leave this mess
(i can't stop. i can't stop lying)
can i ever come clean?
should have let me leave this mess

none of this was my fault
none of this was my fault
still i'm losing sleep