Cracked

The callus left by years of steady self-destruction
Has finally dried and cracked like thinnest clay
The irritation pours out from repression
These are the things I thought I threw away
Strange how you cannot change when you want
But see that I am no chameleon here
So all of this comes back to who I was
Before the wind had blown away my fear
No matter what you do to avoid them
Your past and problems will not wander off
And like a boulder on the path to self-corruption
The light between the cracks is not enough
You call unto the walls that you construed
The walls that break my shattered body's fall
You cannot undermine what I am feeling
The only thing I want is to feel nothing at all

Digging in your lithosphere
Why aren't all the answers here?
Physical life is a trap
I can make you disappear

The scar of harsh rejection opens wide
It's been so long and here is comfort cold
The ones who summon noble introspection
Are now like famished wolves with flesh to hold
And only once did everything subside
Perhaps it was my one and only taste
Of life through eyes of nobody defined
Pull more and more till winter comes and I have been erased
And so am I, so here am I