Rearview Memories

Rearview Memories

[Bree]
God I know you hear us when we cry
God I know you're always here to listen, even as we said goodbye
But God I didn't say goodbye, at least, not the way I wanted to
My heart, torn out, twisted up, heavy, tired but I wanted to tell him goodbye
But God, not the way some people do
This is a goodbye
If I could just see through
I know he's there with you
And now here's my question
God, could you tell him that I love him?
Could you tell him that I miss him?
Could you tell him my confession?
Tell him that I'm sorry that I didn't understand his depression
That I allowed so much aggression to build up
Could you tell him how badly I wish I took the time to tell him myself?
Precious child, don't you know you're the apple of his eye?
Yes God, he told you that but I never really listened
Dear girl, don't you know he's never blamed you, he knew you tried
But God I didn't try, I should have tried but I let myself grow bitter and it only lead to division
My daughter, don't you know you're forgiven?
God, could you tell him that I love him?
Could you tell him that I miss him?
Could you tell him my confession
Tell him that I'm sorry that I didn't understand his depression
That I allowed so much aggression to build up inside
Pretty pretty princess, don't you know you're the apple of my eye
Yes daddy, you told me that but I never really listened
Sweatpea, don't you know I never blamed you I knew you tried
But dad I didn't try I should have tried but I let myself grow bitter and it only lead to our division
Little girl, don't you know I prayed for you, I wanted you, you're forgiven
God, could you tell him that I love him?
Could you tell him that I miss him?
God, could you tell him I forgive him?

[Gage]
You missed the cleansing
You missed the wedding
You missed out on so much more than me
In December I watched your daughter grow bitter
Then January came she took off her crown
I watched it shatter when it hit the ground
Hey Bree, it's ok
You can fall apart everyday
Hey Bree, it's ok
You can fall apart everyday
And I'll pick up the pieces when I can
I'll stand you on your feet
Like Levi did for me
We are all going through the seasons
Everyone falls apart
Everybody has to get a new start some times

[Levi]
Dear dad, I sleep next to a woman now
She knows you better than she did when you were alive
So be confident that you sowed seed in good soil
And your legacy will watch the fruit grow
When I touch her skin, I can't help but remember the way you affirmed my mother
So be confident that we loved you with equal affecction even though you never believed it was true
I've got heaven and hell on my mind all the time
I've got questions I never had before
I wanna know where it is, where you are
And when you talk to God, do you sit at his table and tell him stories about the day I was born
And does He laugh with you like it's all a surprise to Him
I've got a couple of nephews now
Preston just had his firstborn
I pictured you holding me when I watched him hold his daughter
The shocked stare in his eyes swept over me like ocean waves
And I knew that there is a kind of love that still exists completely foreign to me
I can't stop thinking about it
So when you tip-toed out of the house before that quiet dawn
Was it the love of a man that knew a woman and held his childen at birth that turned the ignition
That kept your eyes from the rearview as you drove away from the house you made?
Greater love knows none than this

[Gage]
What did you see? What did you see?
I got to know, I got to know!
Was it little Levi peddling down Date Street?
Were you sitting next to your wife with open eyes staring into hers?
Was she telling you "I love you, please don't go."
Were you walking Bree down the aisle to a better man?
I can't stand it, I can't stand it
Was the Devil in the bathroom with you?
Were his hands on the razor?
Was he drawing on your wrists, was he drawing on your wrists?
Did you see God, Did you see God?
I want to know, I want to know
I want to know where your soul is
What was it like when you took flight?

[Levi]
Dear dad, I don't hate you
I think there was selflessness in your selfishness and after seeing Preston's kid I don't even know if I think it was selfish at all
Maybe you'll correct my theology when we laugh with God together
I'm gonna think of you when I hold my son
I'll do my best to watch after your wife and your daughter
And in the end, I'm glad that your Dad got to clean up your arms and wipe your tears away