Emptiness And Catharsis

Emptiness And Catharsis

Emptiness And Catharsis

No matter how much I get
どれだけ手に入れても
dore dake te ni irete mo
No matter how much I make it mine
どれだけ自分のものにしてもしてもしても
dore dake jibun no mono ni shite mo shite mo shite mo
I can't catch up
追いつけないな
oitsuke nai na

A word like aiming too high is rotten
高望みしすぎなんて 腐ったような言葉
kō nozomi shi sugi nante kusatta yō na kotoba
Nobody wants to be better than anyone else
誰しも誰よりも優れて欲しくはないんだよ
dare shi mo dare yori mo sugurete hoshiku wa nai n da yo
The reason is just one, I want it to be shattered, this emptiness
理由はただ一つ 打ち砕いて欲しいから この空虚
riyū wa tada hitotsu uchikudaite hoshii kara kono kūkyo

When I could see with a pure heart
純粋な心で見れた頃は
junsui na kokoro de mireta koro wa
Everything seemed rainbow-colored
全てが虹色に見える想定
subete ga nijiiro ni mieru sōtei
Even the things I want to grasp blur and fade away
掴みたいものすら ぼやけて滲んでいくのさ
tsukamitai mono sura boyakete nijinde iku no sa

I don't think I want to die, I want to live so much
死にたいって思ってなくて 死ぬほど生きて
shinitai tte omotte nakute shinu hodo ikite
I want it, I want it, this soul
欲しいんだって欲しいんだって この魂が
hoshī n da tte hoshī n da tte kono tamashī ga
The irrational impatience, I can't stop it
不合理な焦燥 止められないんだよ
fugōri na shōsō tomerarenai n da yo
I can't forgive, I can't forgive, I'm pathetic
許せなくて許せなくて 不甲斐ないんだ
yurusenakute yurusenakute fukainai n da
Everything, everything, I'm inferior
何もかも何もかも 劣ってるんだって
nani mo kamo nani mo kamo tadoru teru n da tte
I'm just hiding it with tears on the surface
涙上っ面だけで 隠してんだ
namida uwamen dake de kakushiten da

Words like 'be obedient' are filthy
従順でいなさいなんて 糞汚れてる言葉
jūjun de inasai nante kuso yogoreteru kotoba
Dependency to the point of blocking ears is rather desirable
耳を塞ぐほどの 従属はむしろ憧れ
mimi o fusagu hodo no jūzoku wa mushiro akogare
I kicked away the pain of loneliness with nowhere to go
憂いてただ独り行き場のない痛み 蹴り上げた
ureite tada hitori ikiba no nai itami keriageta

With a heart so empty that I can't cry
空っぽな心じゃ泣けないくらいに
karappo na kokoro ja nakenai kurai ni
A voice silently throbbing
くすぶって音もない声うずいて
kusubutte oto mo nai koe uzu ite
Even the things I want to achieve blur and fade away
果たしたいことすら 煙って霞んでゆくのさ
hatashitai koto sura kemutte kasunde yuku no sa

Even the things I want to grasp blur and fade away
掴みたいものすら ぼやけて滲んでいくのさ
tsukamitai mono sura boyakete nijinde iku no sa

I don't want to disappear, I want to be destroyed
消えたいって思ってなくて 壊して欲しいんだ
kietai tte omotte nakute kowashite hoshii n da
Twisted clamor, rusted and entangled
錆びついて絡まった いびつな喧騒
sabitsuite karamatta ibitsu na kensō
If it becomes shattered and murky, it'll be beautiful
濁りきった透明 粉々になれば綺麗
nigori kitta tōmei konagona ni nareba kirei
I feel sorry, I feel sorry, I get sick of it
情けなくて情けなくて 嫌になるんだ
nasakenakute nasakenakute iya ni naru n da
Meaning, ceased, breath, ceased, ideal = old fantasy
意義、絶えて 息、絶えた 理想＝古い空想
igi, taete iki, taeta risō = furui kūsō
Without even resisting, I'm just scared
抗うことすらせずに 怯えてんだ
aragau koto sura sezu ni obieten da
I'm just scared
怯えてんだ
obieten da