New Halloween

Somehow it's already been a year
Embracing other versions to make this feeling disappear
Now I just feel you everywhere
It coincides with the guilt of knowing
That I wasn't there

I was told that you wouldn't have known
Told myself I was where you'd want me to be
But it's not that easy
I tried to be your light
Did my best to shine
Nothing I do feels right
As I went out all the time
How has it already been a year?
I skip over songs
Because they're too hard to hear
Like track 2 on Benji or What Sarah Said
They just hit too close
When I'm already in my head

I was told you were half asleep
Told myself you would be proud of me
But it's not that easy
I tried to be your light
Did my best to shine
Nothing I do feels right
As I went out all the time

Somehow it's already been a year
You keep finding new ways to make yourself reappear
I hope you never leave me be
I haven't found that courage to listen
To your last message to me