Cuntry Lovin'

'Twas potato season '84
And I had just walked in the door
Saw a pretty lady standing there
I looked that lady in the eye and asked for a piece of big ol' pie
Sat myself right down into a chair

And I said: I love you like a daughter
Even though you are my sister
But ain't we all first cousins anywho?
I saw you 'round the farm
You were as pretty as a picture
And I thought that I'd like summa that too!

Well I can't remember if I were wasted
But that there pie's the best I'd tasted!
I thought this little bitch could be my wife
So, I took her down the ol' pig pen
Bent her down and rammed it in
And quickly filled her up with the seed of life
Oh, she screamed like a cow that just gave birth
Young 'n tight, ain't much girth
Mating season's pretty good this year
Nine months later, a youngin' popped out
Half boy, half pig with a big, pink snout
That dirty bitch'd been messin' after me!

And I said: I love you like a daughter
Even though you are my sister
But ain't we all first cousins anywho?
I saw you 'round the farm
You were as pretty as a picture
And I thought that I'd like summa that too!

Well, I sat that pigchild on my knee
And said: Dear boy, won't you listen to me?
Your mom's a dirty, dang hoe, bitch: Ah-ha!
But even though she fucked a boar
And comes across as quite the whore
She sure does make a bitchin' apple pie!

And I said: I love you like a daughter
Even though you are my sister
But ain't we all first cousins anywho?
I saw you 'round the farm
You were as pretty as a picture
And I thought that I'd like summa that too!