Your 8 Boyfriends

You and your 8 boyfriends seems like such a waste of my time
But I sit alone by the telephone frustrated that I'm not number nine

One, Two and Three can't make verbs agree
Four spends all day lifting weights
Five is a dick, Six and Seven are Psychics
Don't get me started on Eight

You and your 8 boyfriends... how'd my mother raise such a fool?
Cause you've dated so many people and each and every one is a tool

You and your 8 boyfriends, I'm losing all hope for a date
I sit and cry. I just want to die. Cause I'm not one of your eight boyfriends.