Cop Song

Lockstock
If there's one thing I've learned in my many years of enforcing the laws
of this city, it's that the journey down to Urinetown offers no
surprises. Not even from the very toughest amongst us. On that journey
expect only the expected.

It's a hard, cold, tumble of a journey
Worthy of a gurney, a bumble down
A slapped face, smacked with a mace
Certain to debase is our stumble down

It's a path that leads you only one place
Horrible to retrace, a crumble down
A hard, cold, tumble of a tourney
Jumble of a journey to Urinetown

Lockstock and Barrel
Julie Cassidy
Went to a field behind a tree
Saw there was no one who could see

Lockstock
Her pee -

Barrel

Lockstock and Barrel
And Jacob Rosenblum
Thought he was safe up in his room
Didn't know the jars he kept up there
Would obligate a trip to Urine-tomb!

Lockstock
There are those who think our
Methods vicious -

Barrel
Overly malicious -

Lockstock
A bunch of brutes, but it's we who
Gather for the people -

Barrel
Tavern to the steeple -

Lockstock
Lawful fruits!
Our task: bring a little order -

Barrel
Swindle out a hoarder -

Lockstock
From what he loots, as the book says
"Certainly a season" -

Barrel
Trample out a treason -

All
With hobnail boots!
Roger Roosevelt
Kept a cup below his belt
Cup ran over when he knelt

Lockstock
He smelt -

Barrel
We dealt!

All
And Joseph "Old Man" Strong
Held his pee for much too long
Hoped his son might bail him out
His guess was good but also wrong!

Lockstock
Years past all lived in a jungle
Scooping out a bungle, nature's bowl
Life of constant deprivation
Certain aggravation took its toll

Soon learned power of the truncheon
Organize a function king to pawn
So if peace is what you're after
Urinetown's the rafter to hang it on!

Girl Cop 1
Julie Cassidy -

Boy Cop 1
Jacob Rosenbloom -

Boy Cop 2
Roger Roosevelt -

Boy Cop 1
Jacob Rosenbloom -

Girl Cop 1
Julie Cassidy -

Boy Cop 3
Joseph Old Man Strong -

Lockstock and Barrel
Don't be like them! Don't be like them!

Lockstock
It's a hard, cold,
Tumble of a journey
Worthy of a gurney,
A bumble down
A slapped face,
Smacked with a mace
Certain to debase
Is our stumble down Female Cops

It's a hard, cold,
Tumble of a journey
Worthy of a gurney,
A bumble down
A slapped face,
Smacked with a mace
Certain to debase Male Cops

It's a hard, cold,
Tumble of a journey
Worthy of a gurney,
A bumble down
A slapped face,
Smacked with a mace

All
It's a path that leads you only one place
Horrible to retrace, a crumble down
A hard, cold, tumble of a tourney
Jumble of a journey to Urinetown!