Marcas da Adolescência

Adolescence Scars

Still yesterday a friend of mine caught me downcast
At the bar, drunk, surrendering to the drinks
Living a nightmare in the middle of carnival month
Tasting the personal and depressive poison
Losing weight every day, barely eating and only smoking
Trying to recover what was already lost
Love ends, home collapses, shakes the children's minds
And recovery is slow, the pain clear and evident
But then
Possibly a way out is found
Or maybe this shit will follow me all my life
My temper is strong, it disturbs my peace, the worst
I've tried to change
At least to secure a job
I don't want my son to see me in this situation
To fall apart, not even think about falling into depression
And end up in the clutches of a son of a bitch
Any of appearance
And not go through it all over again
Adolescence scars
I was thirteen, the guy already an adult
A strong, engaging man
Me, an innocent idiot
Who simply believed everything he said
And so it was, two, four, six years and so many days
I see no cure for this trauma that doesn't leave my mind
The weight impacts me, shaking my subconscious once and for all
I threw away my adolescence
I surrendered to the wrong guy
In this failed case, it's not you or me who pays
I'm the mother of your son
Whom you didn't see grow up
Never valued
Never wanted to know
To understand my parents' pain
My siblings' pain and there's more
Seven years in jail, the hustle, the cigarettes
Many nights alone
Waiting for your freedom
And you, at the first opportunity, trade me
For a party slut
For bar nights
A line, a coke shot
For a crack pipe, it's fucked

The world takes so many turns, generates problems
I've already felt the consequences
Adolescence scars

I'm getting out of here
I'm going far away, I don't know
To rid my son of the harsh reality
Although one day he will know
Who his father is
Maybe he will forgive
Or maybe he will forget you
Yesterday, a corner bar
From afar, I see
You surrounded by guys
Playing pool and spending money
While your son begs
Seven years, a birthday party
It's not enough, my salary doesn't cover the shopping
Food, rent, water, electricity, milk, bread
I leave early without fear
Just to feed your son
Asshole
And you? You're there, relaxed
A bunch of beer cans by your side
Parading around
How many young, beautiful, attractive girls
Because a slut is fucked, but a single mother is even worse
And at this point, I don't even care if it comes easy or with effort
If hunger comes and the child cries
And at that moment, what happens
A guy comes, comes, and you forget your morals
I don't care what they'll say in the street
I take care of my life, you take care of yours
Everyone with their own cross to bear
Man or woman
You don't know what it's like to be born, grow up without a father, without a last name

The world takes so many turns, generates problems
I've already felt the consequences
Adolescence scars

I was too young, too stupid
I was used and discarded, at this point, it doesn't matter
I want to have a good day with money
And my head held high, I want to raise my son
And maybe even find peace
I messed up and pay the price to try to get up
The consequences hurt, the conscience corrodes me
Everything I wanted, I went after
Nothing is free, and since it's to bring
No matter who it hurts
Fuck it, I'll take it
Because only I know my struggle
So much accumulated hatred
Take a look at what I've become, cold
Bitter and calculating
Maybe a murderer
Maybe just another person guiding their own life
Seeking a way out with no alternative

The world takes so many turns, generates problems
I've already felt the consequences
Adolescence scars