First Time Dead

We're drawn to the things we can't handle
Things we cannot figure out
Such a fascination [may] turn our lives inside out
Living in a world like this
You ain't the one to blame
It's easy to believe you're only safe inside your brain

Seems like I'm running round in circles
A dog whose tail's never found
Who's trying to hide his bones
Going to reach the hell's bound
I couldn't choose the way I'd live
At least I choose the way I'll die
It's like another shot starting when I'm...

Going downtown,
Hanging out in the town lookin' round and round
I know it's gonna be found

On and on, I'm living in a wasteland
'Been through the holding-ons
All my life-long the change would come tomorrow
But it never comes...

First time I died felt so strange
'cos wrongs got righted through the haze
What I saw I just can't tell
'cos they don't fit in this nutshell
Don't think I ever blamed myself
Don't think I hated someone else
Don't you think you even know me better

Now that I've, I've been living through this wasteland
Through those holding-ons
All my life-long, the change would come tomorrow
And it still hasn't come

When I'm feeling down DOWN,
Just gotta resist another round
But I know it's gonna be found

"Illusions commend themselves to us because they save us pain and allow us to enjoy pleasure instead. We must therefore accept it without complaint when they sometimes collide with a bit of reality against which they are dashed to pieces.
The goal of all life is death."

On and on, I'm living in a wasteland
'Been through the holding-ons
All my life-long the change would come tomorrow,
It would come tomorrow […]
But tomorrow's gone!