A Chapter Of Accidents

I swear to God the sun is laughing at me,
but I can't say because I don't look straight at it.
Hear me out.
Those boys tell all the lies that roll right past you:
"I don't wanna fuck you, I just wanna hold you."
Hear me out.
I've searched my conscience.
Done laps thinking, like the ice capades and roller rinks.
Will I know if I still care?
I can't make up my mind.
I'll burn those bridges to the ground to tie you up and drag you down.
Give in to all subtle charms, spend summer nights in your arms.
If I drowned in deeper oceans and sink, would you be better off than me?
I'd do anything to find you.
It's springtime and I feel like I'm dying while everybody's got a new lease on life.
Hear me out.
It's the time of year that rolls right past me.
Just days to deadline.
I know you can't wait to leave.
What do I waste my time for?
You've been gone for some time.
Could I set out to find you?
I'm fucked because you're my vice.
But maybe I'm that type of guy, because I might be.
I know this year's been miserable.
I have faith the end is beautiful.
It's just the road to get to you that's hard.