The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Woman

[Setting: A restaurant with music playing in the background]
"And now the Excited Southerner proposes to a girl."

[Girl:] "You wanted to ask me something?"
[Excited Southerner:] "Yes, I did. I - first of all I just wanted to say that you're --
very pretty girl, and I, I -- hoo --
you'the -- we've known each other for so long now,
and-uh, it's about time that the two of us --
we're both getting older right now, and-uh, and I don't want to die alone, I --
tell you that much -- hoo --
getting ahead of myself --
got ta slow down, hoo-hoo, concentrate on what I'm trying to get across
to you right now, hoo, I mean,
whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-willing to be a house husband,
you don't have to qu-qu-qu-qu-quit your job there,
there, I'm, I'm, the-, I'm, I'm -- hoo, honeymoon in the Poconos, with the --
hoo, woo hoo -- sex optional --
you don't have to do what you don't want to do, hoo hoo hoo hoo,
someday you're going to love me, and that -- that's fi--
til death do us part I,
we'll get the chocolate cake and the sunrise and the sunset --
no prenuptial agree --"
[Girl:] "Look, are you trying to ask me to marry you?
Because I'm just not ready for that kind of commitment."
[Excited Southerner:] "Coooooo."